Living vicariously through kick-ass heroines

This is cross-posted at The Season.

I will never be a kick-ass heroine. Oh, I’ve had adventures and am proud of the things I’ve accomplished, but I’ve come to understand myself well enough to know my limits.

I will never chase after a villain. In fact, the second I get nervous about a situation, I’ll leave as run away as I can. And I am not a natural runner.

I will never investigate a crime. If I witnessed one, I’d beg for police protection, even if it was just a pickpocketing.

I will never be someone’s bodyguard. I’d like to think I’d throw myself between my husband and a bullet, but I say this with the confidence of knowing his reflexes are much better than mine and he’d shove me out of harm’s way.

The bravest thing I’ve ever done was telling a friend that I liked him in a way that would complicate—and perhaps even end—our friendship. Fortunately, he returned my feelings and we ended up falling deeply in love and getting married. At the time, I was terrified – stuttering and shaking with nerves. Looking back, though, I remember that I was spending the night at his apartment that night, and he’d invited me to share his bed instead of sleeping on the floor, so if I hadn’t been so nervous and ignorant I would’ve caught his massive flashing signals of interest.

Friends often tell me they love reading books with kick-ass heroines. While part of me is drawn to heroines who have infinitely more gumption than I ever will, I feel much more inspired by women who struggle with—and overcome—everyday insecurities, as I have.